Helpful Honesty
by Midget Munchkin
Summary: It's Agumon's turn to write in the journal


Helpful Honesty  
  
Midget: This time Agumon is writing in the journal. This is set after they defeated the Digimon Emperor.  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't have enough to buy Digimon from its owners. It doesn't look like I'll get it any time soon, either.  
  
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Gomamon made me do this. I don't know why, when it won't change anything. He says that it will help. Right, whatever. I don't even kknow what to write. At least Gabumon said he would if I would. That means I'm not suffering through this alone. Heh heh.  
  
Well, I'm still here. It has been half an hour since I wrote anything. The others won't let me leave until I have enough written down. One paragraph wasn't enough, I guess.  
  
Oh great! Now they've specified what they want me to write about. And what a topic! Can you believe it? They want me to write about that time with the Digimon Emperor! They must be out of their minds!  
  
Like I was. Don't they know how much I want to put that all behind me? To just forget it ever happened. I mean, it's not as if I don't suffer enough, with all the nightmares and the guilt I feel whenever I look at them. Can't they see what it is doing to me?  
  
Maybe they can. Thinking back on those times has made me remember that they were their for me through it all. They always tried to take my mind off of it and I've been very grateful each time. I've seen the worry in their eyes whenever they look at me. I'm never alone anymore. Someone is always with me, no matter what. Maybe they do realize what is going on.  
  
Part of it is probably my fault. I admit that I was just a little bit jealous of the new kids. After all, they had taken the place of my team. I didn't resent them. We'd had our turn, and now it was theirs. Still, they got to be the heros now, and we weren't. They had cool armor and could still digivolve, but we couldn't.   
  
I never had any desire to cause any harm. At least, that's what I thought. Recently I've been wondering about that, though. After the Emperor took control of me, he filled me with darkness. In that darkness I found a desire to fight. That wasn't anything new. What was new was that the ones I wanted to fight were .... the new digidestined!  
  
Finding that out shocked me. Up until that time I thought that all I was suffering from was a little jealousy. It was no big deal. Even Tentomon and Biyomon confessed to feeling envious of the new group, even if it was just a little. But somehow, I wanted revenge .... revenge for their having taken my place. That was why the Emperor was able to turn me into Wargreymon! I don't blame him, though. How can I, when at the end of our adventure last time I said I wanted to come back as the next Dark Master! Even then I was thinking about turning evil, or I wouldn't have thought such a thing.  
  
When I finally gathered enough courage to tell all of this to the others, they assured me that the Emperor had done it to me. He'd taken what I'd already felt and warped. They are absolutely sure I'm still the same good digimon I was before. All of them claim that they knew I'd just been joking, no matter what he made me believe. I don't know if they're right. How can they believe that, after everything I've done? It still bothers me a lot and I still think he didn't have to do much, if he had to do anything at all. I'm beginning to accept their explanation now, though, as well as their continued support and friendship. Besides, even if they are wrong believing this way is a lot better than believing the alternative!  
  
Well, it's almost time for dinner. Palmon, who was left to make sure I wrote all of this, has taken a look and pronounced it enough. Finally! Dinner smells delicious! I've got to go now. Tai, I made not have written this to you but you were the one I thought of as I wrote this. It's kind of like I was talking to you. Inspite of what I thought at first, it has help. Thanks for being there, even if you didn't know it at the time.  
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There was a grave expression on Tai's face. He was filled with worry for his digimon and a mixture of pride and affection for Agumon. At the same time he felt gratitude toward the other digimon and anger towards Ken. They quickly faded away as he resolved in his mind what he would do about this. After talking with Agumon, he'd have a little chat with his human friends.  
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^Well, what did you think? I thought it would be interesting to try to look at the events through Agumon's eyes. He always seems so proud of the fact that he can help the others, so I thought he might not be able to take being evil very well.^  
  
  



End file.
